Saturday, 6 March 2010


I have bugger all to say. Nothing. I genuinely don't. I'm announcing that I have nowt to say because I ALWAYS have summat to say, so this is more of an event to blog about than, um... what do people blog about? Yeah, well, it's a big event. Shhhh. I do have something to say, actually. But don't let the words I'm typing now detract from the fact that this is an EMPTY ENTRY. Empty like my soul, but not empty like my belly, lalalala. I haven't been sick in, like... 2 days. Or something. But OH DEARY ME, that's not what I have to say. What I have to say is... I really want a straw boater. I have a vision of me for this summer, and it involves a straw boater and a gold lame (imagine a flick thing over the 'e' on the end of 'lame' I don't mean lame. I hate the word lame. It's gay. I love the word gay. What is it about gay? It's not a cinnamon for bad? Hush yo' mush, as our Lily would say) bikini. Or maybe that would be too conservative. I hate anything conservative, as much as I hate anything Conservative. If you don't know the difference you should go eat shit, and then possibly die. Maybe nipple tassels would be more appropriate. I am all about appropriatism. Is that an ism?

You know, now I type I realise I actually have quite a lot to say. I haven't decided yet whether this is still an EMPTY ENTRY, so I'll let you know at the end. If I remember. I would like to lose some weight; I would like lots and lots of money, so that I can go to Sheffield (twice. Well, more than twice. But at least twice, so that I can see Our Lily AND Cer. But only Cer if I'm REALLY bored, hahaha) and I can go to Crewe and I go to BELFAST and... where else do I want to go? SWEDEN. I don't like all that very many people, which is always good when you're trying to spread a visiting budget. I would like Laura Elliott (who does not get called her nickname until she returns to my heart, ie England) to get back from New Zealand, so I can share my stories from hospital and we can laugh and she can hate things and people and tinned mushrooms, for me.

Tinned mushrooms should be outlawed. But that's not as big a priority as passing a law banning tinned potatoes.

This is definitely an empty entry.

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