Tuesday, 6 July 2010


I'm really craving the feeling of a good fast. Oh shhh, I know how awful that sounds- fasting is never good etc., etc. But it's been, oh- over a month since I've gone more than a day without food (or tube feed, hahahaha) and I'm getting antsy. I have a romanticised view of long fasts, apart from when I'm involved in one. Fasting is dull, no two ways about it. Especially after 4 or 5 days when you feel like death and all you can do is just sort of... be. It's especially bad when dry fasting- when I was in the nuthut, after 4 days without food or water I sat up all night waiting to die. Well, I sat up until I passed out and got taken to A&E. Ha. I know that sounds ridiculously over-dramatic, but I was vom'ing radioactive shit and my heart was like BOOMBOOMBOOM and my blood sugar was dancing around the 1 mark. It's funny, because I wasn't particularly bothered about dying (testament to how dull fasting is; it actually saps your opinion on EVERYTHING) I was more... no, I was going to say curious, but I wasn't even that; it was less than curiousity. Mildly interested in what it would be like, maybe.

Fasting would be semi-logical right now, becausse I need my face to go down. I am so ridiculously chipmunk-y still, it should not be possible to see your glands. GO AWAY, VOM' GLANDS (if you vom' too much your glands get overly excited). But nah, I'm too dramatic to fast too much, bingeing and vom'ing it more violent than the nothing that is fasting. And besides, I like vodka too much- last night was another Smelliott and me occassion. And Saturday was me and Momma Ginge (and vodka), which was hilarious because I didn't realise how lairy she gets. She pretends to be such a lady, but she'd be as bad as me and Smelliott on a night out, guaranteed.

You know, actually, I've done quite well food-wise, these last few days. Maybe not yesterday (I didn't eat, got paralytic, ate and then vom'd. IN MY GARDEN. Hahaha, I had to pick up the chunks today and it wasn't until afterwards that I realised that doing so really didn't gross me out and that depressed me, in an odd way.) but apart from that I've been very normo and lovely. Which is definitely cause for celebration, but I'd like to lose some kilo AND I have my fortnightly blood test tomorrow and I like to be a tad excessive for the few days before a blood test. That's awful and attention seekery, but it's nice to get a bit of gratification, although electrolyte drinks are vile and electrolyte IVs are even worse.

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