'Yet few truer words have been spoken; a full belly is prerequisite to all manner of good. Without that, no man knows what hunger will make him do.'
I was channel hopping the other night, and I came across some film or other about an Irish con' who did a runner from a jail (I presume a jail? Can you be a con' if you're not in jail? He might not actually have been a con', you know, now I think about it) and became a cannibal. I'm not sure exactly why he became a cannibal, because I didn't actually WATCH the film, because I'm this weird mix of OCD and pure arrogance when it comes to my time. My time is very, very important. See, I get so terrified of watching films that I haven't seen before in case I don't like them, and then I'll have wasted my time and I will NEVER get that time back. Mind-blowing(ly arrogant). I also will not finish a book if by the second or third page I don't think it's going to be the ABSOLUTE BEST BOOK I HAVE EVER READ IN MY WHOLE ENTIRE LIFE. I don't watch any television programmes that run in serial- you know, anything that you have to watch regularly to keep up with. No soaps or anything and-
So, this film. Actually, the film is really not important (although you have an urge to see a film about some Irish bloke who eats other people, it's called The Last Confession of Alexander Pearce), because the only Irish people who matter are Ais-Ga and B*Witched. The line is excellent though, and so very true.
Hunger, pure animal hunger... Instinct, the moment that the survival instinct kicks in- I tell you, nobody should ever know that hunger. Nobody should ever try to fight their instincts and nobody should ever HAVE to fight them- natural famine or disease, whatever. And it's true- no good can come from that hunger, all good requires a fullness. A natural fullness, not the physical fullness of a Bulimic, either; the Bulimic is never really full. I'm not going to expoit the person I have been by telling you horror stories of things that hunger has made me do. Instead, I'm going to sit back with the quiet confidence of a person who knows, KNOWS, that a real fullness is prerequisite for all manner of good and a confidence in a future without the worry of what hunger will push me to do.
Isn't that nice? I have done well this week, I have done very well, apart from the fact that I've been eating diuretics like a child eats sweets. My sleep is bad at the moment- my anxiety has kept me up and when I do fall asleep, I keep waking every half hour of so, physically frozen with fear about all sorts of ridiculous things- but I've done well, food-wise. It's excitement, tomorrow will be the first day I have ever, EVER spent with my two best friends and hunger will not ruin it.
All manner of good. ALL MANNER OF GOOD.