Monday, 23 August 2010


I have a bloody awful headache and it's irritating me. Not the ache itself, I can hack that because I'm well 'ard, but the fact that I have no reason to have a headache. I mean, I haven't been bashing my head against a wall or trying to change the TV channel with my eyes or staring at burning magnesium or owt. I've eaten and I've drank but I haven't drank owt good. That may well be the problem, I need vodka. There is also a very good chance now that my headache is now sticking around either to piss me off or because of the brain power that I'm wasting over the big question (WHY HAS REBECCA CONDRON GOT A HEADACHE? is a far bigger question than anything about life, love and the universe), because I've munched my way through 6 paracetamol in the last hour, so by rights my liver should be frowning and tutting at me and my head should be just fine.

I need to work on patience- I always get too drunk (if such a state exists) because I expect to be drunk as soon as I've taken my first slog of vodka, I always forget that you have to wait a bit for the booze to hit the blood. I'm the same with pills... The amount of times I've got a bit too valium happy and slept for 20 hours, hahahahaha. Oh wow, actually, fuck patience. My headache is lifting. And anyway, my liver is just fine, thank you- I have a lot of physicals because of how mean I am to my body and so all is a-ok. Sometimes I reckon that if I did things as prescribed (eat, drink, sleep, etc. etc.) my body would get so bored that I'd get a peanut allergy. No, seriously, I've heard that's what allergies are- it's your immune system creating work, just for kicks. That's why you don't get them in third world countries (also, I don't think there's much you can be allergic to in rice)- immune systems are too busy fighting off the shits and that, to give themselves allergies.

Allergies are right attention seeking, when you think about it. It's a pure type, it's your immune system getting bored and wanting a platform in your body, but still. I'm allergic to anesthetic, THAT'S how much of an attention seeker I am. I used to be really proud of that, but then I realised that it's actually really not that uncommon and I was gutted- I liked to think I was special.

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