It is freshers week in the world of, um, the Condron (and the entire population of Essex university, right fair) but I'm pretty sure the entire world (because I know the entire world stalks my life, shut yerrrr face) knows that and I am really pretty bloody drunk and I have no voice and life is quite lovely. There are so many stories that I have from this week, but there aren't that many I really ought to pour out of the WWW (I know, I pour all sorts of shit onto this site, but I may just have discovered limits) because when I am grown up and very important and successful and serious and t-total and wear trouser suits and that, the Daily Mail will use this to try and tell the world I am bad. Actually, I hope they do, that's when you know you are a goodie. But maybe the BBC or summat would turn against me, for being (to nick the title I've acquired here) a 'crazy ginger northerner'. How annoying is this paragraph? Yeah soz'ard, I KNOW. But maybe I'll tell you some shit later, when I decide that I am never going to be grown up and very important and successful and serious and t-total and wear trouser suits, how's about that?
I tell you what's funny, people in the sarrrrrf genuinely don't drink like we do up north. I know it's a stereotype but it's TRUE. You get me and Smelliott and we don't do owt sober- if we have somewhere to go or maybe are going shopping or even if we have nowt to do, we get wankered. And it's not just us, every bugger does it. But here, people drink lovely and delicately and NOBODY drinks vodka out the bottle and I am the only person who carries a hip flask everywhere. Dead odd.