I'm going home tomorrow, I'm not quite sure how I feel. On one hand, I'm the only person in the world (probably in the universe, but I'm not well travelled enough to know) that likes Scunthorpe. Like really, really LIKES. There's something magical about a place where you don't need a cigarette or owt to smoke. Just a big breath of that, um, smokey shite in Scunny's air (I think sulphur might be in there? Sulphur is the one that smells like poo, right? I think? Maybe not, I may have just made that up because my spell check doesn't even recognise that word). I like how being drunk by midday is perfectly acceptable and how if you say hi to someone on the street, they say hi back, they don't grab their handbag and shuffle quickly and nervously away from you. I like how people don't read The Daily Mail (mainly 'cause they can't read. But I'd take illiteracy over The Hate Mail any day) and don't think Waitrose is good place to do a weekly shop and would never, ever admit to voting Conservative. I like how everyone always looks a bit grubby and old ladies say the word 'minging' and how being charged more than 2 quid for a drink is EXTREMELY UNACCEPTABLE.
But then, the south does has it's perks. Actually, besides my mates (and I am not going to do a gay arse-kissing thing here, hahahaha. My mates know who they are and know that I love them), there aren't THAT MANY perks. I mean, before a load of southerners tell me to piss off out of their land, I like Essex but it's just no Scunthorpe. The things that have me unsure about how I feel about going home are more, yanno, linked with being up north. The fact that most of my memories of the last few years of being home include being very, very ill. I sort of have in my head that being down here means healthy, being up there means being ill. Which isn't true. I mean, I haven't been as ill down here but that's nowt to do with BEING DOWN HERE. It's not the southern air or summat in the water that's made me better. It's my work. My bloody hard work.
So good feelings about going home. Think happy etc etc. 'Cause if I can do it here, I can do it there. And enjoy that pollution.