Thursday, 16 June 2011

A trip to the shrink.

I saw my psychiatrist on Monday. I see him every three months, so since my last appointment, things have slipped- my eating disorder has well and truly flaired its ugly head again and I seem to have become a raging alcoholic, it's all good. I wasn't really that nervy or owt because I know how the system works and I knew he'd not do owt, but still, I've had, ooft- maybe 3 or 4 hospitalisations, couple of assessments for Section and two Section 136s, so I was a bit curious to see what he'd say, hahaha. He started with the basics, asking if I was hearing voices and all that kind of stuff; whether or not I fancy killing myself, blahblahblah. We then had a bit of an odd exchange. At least I thought it was odd, let me know what you think...

Doctor- are you vomitting very much? How many times a week?
Me- A week? Dunno. At least 10 times a day though, maybe up to about 20.
Doctor- Can you tell me your weight?
Me- Rather not.
Doctor- OK, that's fine. Have you lost weight?
Me- I've fluctuated A LOT.
Doctor- Right, alright then. Well I have a letter here from your therapist, saying that if your eating disorder gets more severe again, she wants you referred into the NHS eating disorder services. But obviously you're fine now so we won't do that this time.

I know for a fact that the letter he had ACTUALLY was telling him to refer me into the services BECAUSE I'd got severe again. But because I'm not desperately underweight, to him I am fine. But is vom'ing that much really no big? I didn't ever really see the point in referring me forward, 'cause I like my therapist and I don't think starting again with another is going to suddenly cure me, just 'cause the other service is for more severe disorders- I've been treated by people whose job is to monitor the worst and generally hated them all. But, yanno, it got to me.


  1. Yet again, another example of the ignorance surrounding eating disorders. He should be fast tracking you back. When the fuck will these people realise that weight is not the only symptom of an eating disorder and that the severity should not be judged on what they see on the outside. Pisses me off that they are HEAD doctors but like to look at our bodies. FUCKING JOKER. Call your therapist and explain...see what she suggests...
    Love you x

  2. She's off this week, but when I have my appointment next week I'll tell her. I almost laughed when he said that, picturing her reaction and also what MG would do if she was there, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.