I think this is the longest I've ever gone without blogging, apart from, yanno, the first 19 years of my life; things are very strange right now. I got sectioned (yes, yes, again. Third time in 3 months, horrif) a few weeks ago and then got out yesterday to be told that I'm lucky I'm not being thrown out of uni because of it. Or, rather, because of summat along the lines of my mental disorders/insanity being too great to be safely managed, officially. I'm still in, although they are looking at banning my alcofrolick arse from the alcohol selling places on campus (ie, anywhere that anybody ever goes. Bar those odd people at uni for the education). I cried and I screeched but now, right now, my mood is none too bad. You see, I'm going to be alright.
I realised a few things, as even I tend to sporadically, and I'm not feeling at all bad. See, I have a plan. I have a plan, no matter what they throw at me, even if that thing they throw is the statute. The book. Close the air holes and I'll claw some new ones- I think I may well be untouchable and if I'm not, I'll sure as hell make sure I am.
I'm going to be alright. Everything I felt and feared and wrote about in my last entry happened or is happening- I HAVE to be better or I'm out of the uni on my arse. But I knew that anyway, in myself, for my own sanity. It won't take them to throw me out, if mentally I can't handle it. But I need a chance to have a life, now and for the future, and I'll make sure nobody takes that from me. So, I have a plan.
(and I'll maybe write summat proper and less cryptic tomorrow, hahaha)