Monday, 16 January 2012


I cried today. I walked through campus, to get to the doctor's, crying behind my sunglasses. I'm pretty sure nobody saw and 'cause I'm a mucky slut the only make up I had on was the last remains of what I'd been wearing on Saturday night, so it's not like I had mascara tracks. But still a touch pathetic. I was shaking like a leaf. Being mugged really shook me up and it was the first time I'd been out alone since. I'm petrified of everyone and I'm petrified of what didn't happen, but could have. What didn't happen this time, but happened in the past. It's not really about what happened last week, but about what always happens. This is a bit cryptic and I'm not really saying owt... I'm just flat-out scared, yanno? But now I've been out once alone, it can only get easier, eh?

Blech, I don't have owt interesting to say. Just, I'm back in Essex aaaand just that I'm anxious and stressy and pretty much scared of everyone, but because my new anti-depressos are so magic, I'm all of that, but not depressed. Pretty sure that's a luvmalyf moment though, not a fukmlayf one, so whatevzzzz.

1 comment:

  1. It'll get easier, babe. Nothing like this would ever knock my condom completely over, not even a double decker bus could.
    I'm so angry they've made you feel like this, absolutely livid so I can't even imagine how angry you are.
    I love you xoxo