Thursday, 12 January 2012

To the 'men' who mugged me on Tuesday.

Hi, dickheads.

I realise that stealing isn't a hobby to be taken up by those who care all that much about other people. But in case you thought that it was reasonably victimless, I'd just like to have a chat with you. Bar the drugs you gave me, you didn't physically hurt me, there were no punches thrown and had I been a virgin before the attack, I'd still have walked away one, too. I'm not going to thank you for that, because by that reckoning, I should thank every person I meet for not having murdered me. But hey, at least-

-

In writing this, I've just thought. I've just remembered what happened in between you robbing me, and me ending up in hospital. You bastards, you absolute bastards. I KNEW, looking back, that it was weird that you wasted your Rohypnol, and what the doctors think from my tests was Ecstasy, just to steal some bits out of my bag. But the things from my bag were nothing, were they? They were a bonus. The real prize was to be had after you'd persuaded me to get off the train, hey? It was me, it was always me you were after. Part of me knew you wanted something and I'll admit you flattered me. But not that. Definitely not that. You fucking cunts. But I wouldn't, because my mum was due to pick me up and I didn't want to be late for her. You didn't know that though, did you? You thought I'd get off the train with you as easily as I'd drank your fucking drugs.

Wow.

What I was actually going to say, where I was actually going with this, now seems incredibly irrelevant. You were going to rape me, there's not much worse that you could have done to me. There's no bigger crime, for the victim, because the murdered one is only a victim in the moment, before they cease to be. I thought you were some stupid little boys, off trying for a quick quid and ignoring what comes after, for the victim. But you were so much worse. What I was going to tell you is, the aftereffects aren't so simple as a girl having to replace her phone. I was going to tell you about the hysteria that followed it, that resulted in me restrained, handcuffed, having to be injected with a sedative, in the psych ward that night. Getting carted off the train and packed off to the nuthut, for fears over what I might've done.

I don't know what would have happened if you'd got what you wanted, all I know is right now you would not currently have a single testicle between you. You fucking cowards; 8 of you, one of me, a bottle of Disaronno, E and some Rohypnol. You fucking cunts.

Don't breathe easy. Nobody, NOBODY does this shite, or tries to do that shite, to Rebecca Condron.

I can't believe how close it was. I'm not going to say how 'lucky I was' because not only do I not believe in luck, but not being raped is not luck. Not being raped should be the stuff of all life.

3 comments:

  1. My God Bec. I want to come and hug you. Like, really. Honest to god these bastards better be caught

    I love you so much and im so sorry for what happened and what could have happened. and for everything since



    xxxxx

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  2. Oh my God.
    I hope you're okay! I'm so sorry this happened to you, it's actually terrifying how common it is.

    I really hope you're okay. Sending you cyber hugs!
    xx

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  3. Thank-you, lovelies. I will be ok, just pissed off and a bit embarrassed and shook up! xxxxxxxxxxx

    ReplyDelete