Wednesday, 4 April 2012

Numb.

That's not numb in a bad way, by the way. It's numb in an unproductive way, but it's always nice to have a break. It's a strangely nostalgic feeling, melancholy but familiar. I know this feeling well, although I've not let myself feel it for so long. Sorry, this is making little sense already. I'm not eating very much, I haven't over the last fortnight or so. If I wasn't so numb and exhausted, I'd berate myself because I could fight, I'm sure I could try to fight it. But I just need a little break, like what I was saying before about needing a rest from all the stress. Taking a break from fighting the guilt and the stress and how huge I was feeling has taken a massive weight (no pun intended) off, and all the rest of the stresses are sort of just bouncing off me because I don't have the energy now. It's a bit like being in a bubble. I can see the real world but it seems very separated from my little bubble, my own tiny world. Nothing can touch me, but by the same token I can't touch or feel anything.

Ohhhh, this is some bad writing. It's strange, I can't think about anything and I was going to to write about summat, I'm sure, but I don't know what it was. This entry in itself is probably a reason why you should always eat properly, my mind is completely empty and I have nowt very interesting to write. So I suppose I'll end this now. Definitely need to start fighting again and winning again over the next few days, only get a limited amount of annual leave I guess, hahahaha.

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