Friday, 19 October 2012

I'm sorry.

I finally got discharged from hospital. That three weeks without food I mentioned in my last post turned into five and an NG tube, but I'm alive and sort of free. I'm seeing a team who come out to my house every day, helping me get through shit (getting back online would have been impossible without them), but it's a slow process.

 More than anything, I feel like I'm letting everyone down. I'm underweight, I'm self harming multiple times a day and I can't go outside without my mum, although I did make it to the end of my close (which only has about 20 houses on it, but still), with the team today. I'm taking another year off (for those who don't know, I took off the academic year 2009/10) and graduation and having a career and absolutely everything seems so far off. All my friends either graduated this year or will do next, and I still have two to go. If I even go back. I don't know, I really don't know.

 I'm just genuinely sorry because I feel like such a fraud.