I've taken some Tramadol and now I'm a bit dopey, but my hip feels better and it's making me calmer. I was a bit of a mess this morning, I saw my shrink 'cause I wanted my meds, esp my anti-depresso, increased and while he upped that a tiny bit and gave me some sleeping pills (I yawned constantly, hahaha), everything else is apparently too high for my current size anyway. I have to gain 2kg in the next two weeks, for him to consider upping shit, 'cause my weight was down this week and my height was a little higher than I thought, so that's lowered my BMI. If I lose, they decrease my meds. I want to gain the weight, I want to gain far, far more in fact, but at the same time, I feel ginormous... such is the paradox of the disease, I know, but I just want to be where I was a few months ago.
I want to be this Rebecca Condron again, please. That's what I would like for Christmas.