It's been a long, hard few days and it's only set to get worse. My best friend on the unit leaves tomorrow, they've started getting stricter on my meals, my nightmares are stopping me sleeping properly and my mood is close to rock bottom, probably as a result. When I struggle, I lose words and my grasp on time and reality, and so it's really hard to try and pin down enough of the words zooming in and out of my tired brain, to form an entry here. The ideas or, actually, even the words just won't come and sentence-forming is a monumental task; even the Guardian's US twitter account picked up on a dodgy sentence of mine (and when Americans question your English, you know it's bad). I know in the past when I've not written here people worry that I've done something- because usually I have, right fair- but I haven't and I won't, so I thought I best put a note in. I've decided to be as honest with the doctors and nurses as I can, and so I've not tried to blag myself some unescorted leave, because I'd only bloody overdose. Well done me.
Stay with me and don't forget me. When people aren't around, I'm convinced they'll forget me and that makes my existence seem shakey. My girl leaving tomorrow is making me think of all the friends that have come and gone. Maybe I'll expand upon that another time. For now, be patient. This too shall pass.