I'm alive, but so much has happened since I lasted posted that part of me is amazed that I am. I'm reeling and shell shocked and I feel entirely wrung out and deposited at the bottom of some hole, somewhere. I lost a friend to that bitch Anorexia, I had an amazing birthday, I found out my weight (after 6 months of massive weight gain, where I wasn't allowed to see the numbers increase) and I caught quite a nasty little virus. I hurt both physically and mentally and it's all I can do to stop myself wriggling to the bottom of my bed and bawling for all I'm worth. How ever little that is.
I find myself squeezing my eyes shut, when first I wake up, wishing like a child that I could be somewhere else. Anywhere else. I want to run away. Even though you can never run from yourself, I'd at least like to try, you know? I'll post properly in a few days, but until then, know this- I am alive.