I'm sure you've read in the news, Asda produced a mental patient Hallowe'en costume. You know- I can't believe they thought of it before I did. I could have been renting out my clothes all this time (clothes maketh the mental, of course). I thought I'd share some tips, help you put together your own outfit based upon this Mental Patient sat right before you- the complete package of psycho-horror (I'm 5'2.5 of pure crazy).
Mental Patient sits before you now in a Mickey Mouse top and bright pink shorts, with her hair drippy wet from the shower. Mental patient has changed her clothes since this morning though, when she wore an over-sized vintage denim shirt, multi coloured shorts, and her hair in a top knot and tied with a black and white gingham ribbon. That's quite a lot of different components though, so what about going as Mental Patient's invisible friend? Not that Mental Patient has an invisible friend- she is an actual mental patient, not a cliche that really ought to have been left somewhere in the last century, after all- but what better way of really getting in the Hallowe'en spirit? Invisible is quite hard to pull off, but since we're talking of amazing and clever costumes, why not work it? If you fancy a slightly simpler but still as mental costume, why not dress as one of Mental Patient's real friends, who also happen to be mental patients? Becky brought fear and disaster to the world today, dressed in a sweater with a dog on and indigo jeans. Feel the nightmare and insanity! Aimee sent children running from her, in a vest, a blue cardigan and black leggings. More nightmare! More insanity! And then there's Chelsea, ever terrifying in her skinny jeans and pastel sweater. ULTIMATE NIGHTMARE! ULTIMATE INSANITY!
Of course, this might all be a bit too hardcore for you, so maybe you ought to get some fake blood and a plastic knife and call yourself a psychotic killer? Not that Mental Patient has ever killed anyone, despite getting psychosis. But, yanno, we must be modern and forward thinking and as politically uncorrect as possible. Next up- shaving your head for a realistic cancer patient costume!