Friday, 30 May 2014

'Smile luv, it mightn't 'appen' (TW)

This is the smile of an under-fed, colour-less brain.

This is the smile of a woman who knows she is nothing but damaged organs trapped inside tainted flesh and covered in a papery skin.

This is the smile behind a tsunami of thoughts and plans and even hopes of destruction.

This is the smile of the woman who is beaten black and blue every time she turns around. Her tormentors fed by the sight of all the beauty in the world, a beauty that includes everything but herself.

This is the excessively fake smile produced with hope of disguising the fact that any smile on this face right now would be fake.


This is the woman behind the smile, who thinks that maybe if she can feed her brain and body, it'll add colour back into her life.

This is the woman behind the smile, who thinks maybe her organs will pick up their function if she nourishes them, and knows that since cells flake and die, she cannot be not the person she was all those years ago.

This is the woman behind the smile, the smile she's going to build protective flood defences around.

This is the woman behind the smile, who thinks maybe beauty is contagious and so ought to spend more time basking in it, than running from it.

This is the woman behind the smile, who is petrified of her body and at the health of body needed for the health of brain. The health of brain needed so that healthy smile she's hiding from is never too far from dancing across her face.

2 comments:

  1. I want to see that true smile for you Rebecca... I hope one day soon to open your blog and see that you have found the beauty inside yourself that we already see.;-)

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  2. I hope you get all the color you dream of and come back to us with a real smile.

    ReplyDelete