I'm terrible for making excuses about any changes to my body, and I've recently sort of twigged on to the fact that it's not just a me thing. It's not just an eating disorder sufferer thing. It's not just a young person thing. It's not even just a woman thing, although I do think women are expected more to apologise for weight-gain, in particular. I think already I'm wading into excuses by referring to the general issue- body-shaming, in its forms- by making my previous assessments of those groups of people into a 'just' thing. There's no 'just' about it, it's an issue that claims acceptance, happiness, contentment and life. It's a bigger, more grotesque, issue than my thighs ever will be.
My latest excuses have been to blame other people for making me gain, when in fact it was me who agreed to the NG, and then it was me who finally accepted that I would gain the weight I needed. I've gained roughly 15kg and there are still a few more to go before I reach the point my body naturally settles at. I should be bloody proud of that, and sometimes I am. It's taken so much out of me, but the rewards of acceptance, happiness, contentment and life itself, are what I need to concentrate on. I'm not there, but I'm nearer there than I am the opposite. It's not about the number on the scales, it's my body having a natural shape and natural size. I may never be comfortable with the fact that I view my thighs as so big, but I'm healthier now, and that should be the focus.
But for those on the opposite end, those who are clinically overweight or obese (such a horrible word), they shouldn't have to fear their bodies and have other people judge not only their bodies, but also their lives. Maybe they're happy, and maybe they're not- but until they ask your opinion on their dietary intake, you don't deserve to have one. Anyway, that's kind of different. What I more mean is, right, it's bikini season. Chances are, you look hot in a one piece or a bikini. Every woman does, because whether you're aware of the battle or not, you're sticking two fingers up to your insecurities and the ones society expects you to have. No matter where you fall on the bloody BMI chart (don't even get me started), it's a fight that at some point, many points, you'll probably fight. You can win; you look fantastic.
Society, the media, wherever you want to direct the hate- you go for it. Be a warrior. Be strong. Stop shopping for ways to hide your size, and accept that whether you're an XXS or a XXL, you deserve to dress for you. Wear pretty things, eat delicious things and realise your power. You are powerful. You are strong. And you don't ever, ever need to be ashamed.