Eventually though, yesterday I got my applications done, all whilst sober. I may have just about grown up. It's funny, because selling myself was somewhat harder this time, as opposed to when I was 18. I think part of that is because I'm now more comfortable and confident in myself. I know that might sound a bit backwards, but to write my personal statement at 18, I had to be drunk and pretty much taking the piss a bit, because it was the only way I could possibly imagine writing it. Now, at the grand old age of 25, I was in the strange position of just about being able to write it sober, from the heart.
I joke a lot about growing up. Comments about who/what I'll be when I grow up (tall, for example), laughs over how I thought by now I'd be a real grown up. Behind all the jokes though, there is something else. I feel like I never really did the usual steps that a lot of other people my age did, that signal adulthood- graduating, careers, leaving home, weddings, kids, and so on. I think a lot about where I should be, without acknowledging that I've had to take a totally different route from the average person, but have come pretty bloody far.
I think we all feel, at some point, like that episode of Rugrats where the kids have suits on and go to work. I think we all look at the lives of others and only notice the best bits. Which is fine, it stops us being horrible, but it'd probably make us all a bit nicer in general if we looked at ourselves with that kindness. I'm not sure what being an adult is really all about, part of me always feels like I've been one and part of me is sitting waiting for it to happen to me. I don't think it really matters though. All I do know, though, is that being 25 is a damn sight better than the adulthood 18 promised.