Friday, 18 December 2015


It's really hard to sum up how much this Christmas means to me. I keep scrunching up my face in excitement and getting cramp; I am beyond excited and have been since, I don't know, 2011. I am sparkly at the best of times, but a time of year that goes along with that theme is The Best. Seriously. I've been typing and deleting all day, because I just can't get out all them feelingz properly. Ever since I was sectioned (forcibly hospitalised because of a mental health condition) just before Christmas a few years back, I've been waiting for this one. My first one out of hospital since 2011. I've always had to remind myself that I'll eventually get to make up for all the Christmases I missed from being in hospital and all the ones I missed because although I was there in person, in spirit I was too busy planning my next weight loss bloc. I'm well. I'm did it. I got well and I got out of hospital and ohmygod next week I'll get to eat Christmas pudding and brandy butter.

Listen though; it's ok if you're dreading the day, you hate the season, you're lonely or sad or ill. My heart goes to you, but it's ok. I never believed that I would get an opportunity to make up for it all, but I have. I won't rave on about how it's for the best or instruct you to have a good time because, well, honestly it might be crap. It might break your heart. It might be heartbreaking for your family. But there are better days and sparklier Christmases ahead.

If you need me over the season, feel free to get in touch (on Twitter I'm @RebeccaXylo and my email address is

You are not alone. And you don't have to be sparkly right now.


  1. Rebecca how wonderful that you are reaching out to others, letting them know there's hope down the road if not now. I honestly hope that I'll learn to love the holidays again one day. Know a little of what you went through and knowing that you came though gives me hope xox ♡♡♡