Tuesday, 4 April 2017

A hospital stay.

I have had a hellish month or so. I've been ill more or less constantly since December. It's never been particularly serious, I've just felt lousy for months, mostly with stuff I didn't even bother going to the doctor's for. I eventually went when I had vertigo, a few months back, and bloods didn't show anything, so I never went back. The GP I saw, who, bless him, didn't know my history, asked if I thought it was mental health related but I was certain it wasn't. With my history (which I then had to explain. However much I could), I was sure I'd know.

Then, about a month ago, my problems got worse. I lost my energy, I had aches, then I got what I thought was a sickness bug. You know, a 24h job. Long story short, after 6 days I was admitted to hospital with a kidney infection and for a slap on the wrist because apparently 3l of Pepsi Max a day isn't healthy. Who knew?! I was there for 10 days and my mental health took a major nosedive, not least because it ended up a urology thing, and having my genitals poked around with, outside of an intimate setting (and even sometimes then) triggers a lot of PTSD sexual abuse stuff.

Then, it was decided I was impressively (I paraphrase) constipated. I'll give you a min. Honestly, I had suppositories, laxatives and an enema and, without too much detail, nothing worked. It's been a ride, because suddenly (I've been out of hospital for just over a week now) everyone is losing their minds because I'm not too keen on continuing laxatives. My MH isn't strong enough right now to handle not getting hooked again, but until I'm shitting properly I can't have the catheter I currently have out.

I'm dealing as best I can, but I'm not as healthy as I could be, mentally or physically. As much as I still don't think the origin of my many minor illnesses have been mental, I can't argue that there's not a link between the two.

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